Millennial Limericks by Marek Zemek Taste There is this gothy girl from central Yonkers One hundred holes make her trousers look bonkers The noise in her earphones Moves none but her hipbones “Don’t folks like post-neo-glitch hop?” she ponders Mainstream My old mate Tony lives close to Lake Erie Said he likes geeky stuff, I’m like “oh dearie! I am a huge fan, too! What should I get into?” “Do you know MCU and Big Bang Theory?” Grief Feeling down in the dumps? I’ll help you out If you’re not going through creative drought Grab a pen and your brain Think of your darkest bane Write a hit emo song, sell it, cash-out School Ronald, just tuned 13, got sick of school He’s no fool, he wants to do stuff that’s cool He’s got it all planned out He wants fame, cash and clout He’ll be a salesperson, he’ll be a tool Punctuation Henry from Munich just finished the Iliad He did not want to look like a dumb idiot But he had a nagging question ‘bout old Homer’s punctuation “No crying-laugh emoji instead of period?” Essay 2 Thomas was trying to finish an essay What happened at one point, tickled his airway Microsoft word told him With just four words so grim: “Consider using concise language.” “–okay.” Wildfire Karin from Brno was somewhat aloof Couldn’t help but think ‘bout her recent goof Luckily, no one saw Her gnaw on hay and straw Next week’s news: “Karin is crazy, here’s proof…” Attention Garry from Düsseldorf, aged twenty-one Asked his mates what is it they have just done “Dude, we uh… wait a sec We went to… sorry, heck It was five mins ago, we ‘member none. End Thank you for sticking through my silly rhymes It was great fun for me – writing these lines All’s got to end once, though Here’s my last message, yo Things like Hawaiian pizza should be crimes